It's been two years since I've been home and saw the family tombstones and even longer since I went with my mom. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. I could rant about the fallacy of "perpetual care" for hours, but instead I want to talk about cleaning tombstones. I'm a novice at this, which in my case it means that I haven't attempted it before, but after seeing the condition of these tombstones I've got to do something.
The first image is what my grandparents' tombstone looked like today (2022). They are buried in Saint Gabriel's Cemetery in Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Or rather, my grandmother is. When she passed my grandfather's name was put on the same stone, but he ended up moving away and actually died and is buried in California. There is no tombstone at the Santa Clara Cemetery. As I mentioned I also went to see the tombstones in 2020. Rather than post another picture I'll just say here that the first picture is pretty much what it looked like then as well. The picture below was taken in 2011 and why I'm writing this post and determined to give it a cleaning before I head back to Colorado after my family vacation.
I've found several websites on cleaning tombstones and the majority seem to recommend a cleaner called D/2 Biological Solution. They aren't on Amazon which was disappointing even though a Google search said they had a business page on there. Instead it took me to a search result for other potential cleaners. Beware of that little Amazon trick! If you aren't paying attention you might order the wrong thing. The D/2 website is not mobile phone friendly so back to the search results I went and was able to purchase a bottle on Walmart for about $35. It'll get here in the next few days.
Now keep in mind that I'm not a preservationist and I'm not endorsing a specific product so don't get your knickers in a twist. I am, however, going to try this product and will give a review with before and after photos. As for the websites I came across these were the top matches and ones that seemed to 1) make sense with their processes and 2) seemed backed by what appears to be a somewhat knowledgeable or legitimate site
Cemetery Conservators for United Standards - This site talks about recommended tools as well as cleaning products and methods for taking care of tombstones as well as when you should not clean a tombstone. They reference the Department of Veterans' Affairs site on more than one occasion. This is my favorite site.
Funeral Help Center - This website not only talks about cleaning tombstones/markers, but has a resource for symbols and history and traditions. Those are definitely things researchers enjoy checking out. As for stone cleaning this site is very basic and you can pretty much find everything they are saying throughout the other links in this post.
Department of Veterans' Affairs - This site actually reenforces a lot of what is on other sites and I have faith in it because they are issuing tombstones for veterans. They want them kept in the best condition possible.
National Park Service - Our National Parks frequently have military markers that they need to maintain. This site gives an overview of how to clean them based on the Department of Veterans' Affairs and clarifies that the methods recommended are for marble stones only.
Things to keep in mind
The National Park Service points out that the directions they give are for those employed with them or other cemeteries, etc to use. Other sites point out that you should only be cleaning stones that belong to your family. In other words you shouldn't be running out on a mission to clean every stone in a cemetery, but I believe that if someone was working on an Eagle Scout project or was a part of a preservation society and got permission to clean from the owners of the stones and/or cemetery that would be different. Sometimes in genealogy we get a bit excited trying to do good. We don't sometimes realize that not everyone sees our "good" the same way. Respect others wishes and do what's right at all times.
I'm not a TikTok-er and I know people get passionate about hating the platform, but I may have to check it out after seeing this post by "headstonecleaner." I have a headstone that has sunken to the point that much of it cannot be read. I find her post interesting because the cemetery raised the stone and you were able to see the difference between what was below ground and above ground and how that was still evident years later and after cleaning. I cannot vouch for the methods "headstonecleaner" uses since I have only (so far) watched this one TikTok , but the post was interesting and so far the video looked like it embraced proper methods as far as my inexperienced eyes can tell.
Veterans' markers - Please remember that veteran head and foot markers are issued by the VA and are federal property even though they are for a loved one. If they are in a federal cemetery, they should be cleaned by that cemetery. If they are in any other non-federal cemetery it is still federal property and should be cleaned according to the methods the VA recommends.
Cross Check Your Sites
Prepare to roll your eyes because I'm going to say something you probably already know...check multiple sources when conducting research. As genealogists we know this, right? The answer should be a resounding YES, but sometimes we get sloppy. We're in a hurry or we don't realize an article is out of date. And sometimes confirmation bias can slip into our research when we want something to be right. I'm not claiming that the links I provided above are in any way the best of the best. There will be lots of people who love cleaning tombstones a certain way. Be cautious of traditional methods that may be outdated as new science is published. I found a site that was very promising and it was published in 2019. A Do-It-Yourself to tombstone cleaning blog post that advocated using a soft bristled brush on a drill and ammonia for hand cleaning tough areas. These methods are not recommended.
Think of it this way...tombstone cleaning is supposed to be done using the least invasive methods. You can take a brush with appropriately soft bristles and use it by hand and then you can take the same thing and put the power of a drill behind it. Is it still the same gentle "do no harm" method or has it become something more?
Ammonia is a fertilizer. Chemical reactions...blah, blah, blah...ammonia and water is yummy to plants. Which is all fine and good until you realize that a lot of the stuff covering tombstones is living matter. That's why biocides like D/2 are used. A stone is absorbent, at least to some degree. You can remove the lichen, mold, etc from the tombstone, but some may have taken root within the stone itself. You might not be able to see it after your initial cleaning. If you clean with ammonia, that will feed what you are trying to get rid of. Even worse, if that biological matter has penetrated the stone it may cause it to crack as it grows.
Methods that used to be acceptable are often found to be the opposite as years pass. Always check for updates and read the instructions completely.
So with all that in mind, I've got D/2 cleaner and a soap called Orvus on its way to my mom's house. Next Friday my mom, sister, and I are cemetery bound and will be taking care of Mary and Edward's tombstone. I start driving back to Colorado a day or so later so the follow up post may happen immediately or after my return. It all depends on my motivation, excitement, and exhaustion levels as well as what shiny objects distract me.
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